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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/22657402">The Exorcist</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/Zeckarin/pseuds/Zeckarin'>Zeckarin</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>And they were roomates... (but there were two beds) [21]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Good Omens (TV), Good Omens - Neil Gaiman &amp; Terry Pratchett</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Angst and Humor, BAMF Aziraphale (Good Omens), Gen, POV Anathema Device (Good Omens), Protective Aziraphale (Good Omens), Protective Crowley, Queerplatonic Aziraphale/Crowley (Good Omens)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-02-11</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-02-11</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-04-28 14:55:35</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Teen And Up Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>1,943</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/22657402</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/Zeckarin/pseuds/Zeckarin</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>When an angel decides to live in the same place for hundreds of years, it is only natural to have some people making assumptions...</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Aziraphale &amp; Anathema Device, Aziraphale &amp; Crowley (Good Omens), Crowley &amp; Anathema Device</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>And they were roomates... (but there were two beds) [21]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/series/1523585</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>34</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>241</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>The Exorcist</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>February ficlets #10<br/>Prompt : "It's exactly what it looks like"</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p> </p><p> </p><p>The doorbell jingled merrily.</p><p>"We’re closed !" Yelled Anathema, curled on the chair near the window, too engrossed in her book to look up. She didn’t notice the discreet footsteps approaching.</p><p>“Where is he ?” whispered an urgent voice.</p><p>She <em>did</em> look up. Then blinked. This was, she thought, the first time she saw a priest in cassock in the flesh.</p><p>Making a point of not appearing surprised in the least, she asked sweetly “Where is who ?”</p><p>“The <em>demon</em>. Where is the <em>demon</em>, my child ? Did he hurt you ? You are safe, now, I will protect you, do not be afraid...”</p><p>Anathema fought the urge to answer <em>“The demon is sleeping next room under a tartan blanket, and an angel is making him hot cocoa upstairs because he had the feeling that demonic nap-time was about to end in four minutes”.</em></p><p>She chose to smile blankly instead. Smiling in silence was a good way to unsettle people, and unsettle people was always a good move when you were a witch.</p><p>The man suddenly realised her condition, and gasped loudly.</p><p>“Are you… is this… What have you agreed to ? Are you carrying the <em>spawn of Satan ?”</em></p><p>Anathema’s smile only grew wider as she imagined the answer to <em>that</em> question. <em>“The spawn of Satan isn’t here, Sir. He is grounded in his parent's home. Water balloon incident.”</em></p><p>She closed her book with a sigh.</p><p>“Sir, I have no idea of what you are talking about. Demons don’t exist, this is a bookshop, and it is <em>closed</em>.</p><p>“Anathema, my dear ? I heard the door, is someone in ?” called Aziraphale’s voice in the staircase.</p><p>At the same time, a dark figure stepped in from the back room, stopped dead at the sight, and let out an inelegant “Ngk !”.</p><p>The priest turned towards Crowley, fumbled into his pocket, and raised a trembling hand.</p><p>The demon looked at the crucifix, then at the man’s other hand, and obviously relaxed at seeing it empty.</p><p>“How can I help you, Sir ?” he asked sweetly.</p><p>“Where is he ? Where is the demon ?” questioned the priest hurriedly.</p><p>Crowley and Anathema exchanged a surprised glance. At least, Anathema thought it was a surprised one, if the way his eyebrows shot up was any indication. Blasted glasses.</p><p>“A <em>demon</em> ?” gasped Crowley, a hand flying to his chest in dismay. “Here ? Oh, dear me, what will become of us ?”</p><p>Anathema covered her mouth to hide a smile.</p><p>“Tell me where the fair-haired demon is, and God will forgive you !” yelled the priest.</p><p>Crowley winced in disgust.</p><p>“No need to be <em>rude</em>,” he mumbled.</p><p>Anathema blinked. “Wait… you think <em>Mr Fell</em> is a demon ?” she asked in wonder.</p><p>“I know it ! There are proofs ! I know what he is, and I will send him back to Hell and save your damned souls !”</p><p>“Yeah,” drawled the demon, amused, “not gonna happen, pal. Why don’t you just go home and have a <em>nice</em> lie in ? Everything is going to be <em>better</em> after a little nap.”</p><p>His voice was mesmerising, thought Anathema. The demon was almost singing, and she didn’t need to use her powers to understand magic was at work.</p><p>The priest’s hand started to shake more violently. “I will… not… be deterred,” he groaned.</p><p>“Crowley, stop that, he is in pain,” urged the witch.</p><p>“Only because he’s resisting,” answered the demon, taking a step towards his prey.</p><p>“You will forget about this visit, and forget about Mr Fell. You will go home, and <em>sleep</em>.”</p><p>Anathema could see the glamour curling around the priest. The man let out a shuddering breath and a little whine, still refusing to move.</p><p>“You’re going to break his spirit !” she cried anxiously, getting on her feet and pulling Crowley away.</p><p>The demon stumbled, and the priest jumped back, his eyes widening in realisation.</p><p>“Demon !” he yelled, the crucifix back in place in front of him, and he started mumbling hurriedly in what Anathema assumed was Latin.</p><p>“Oh, great. See what you’ve done ?”snapped Crowley. “Now I’m being exorcised !”</p><p>the witch looked around frantically in search of something, anything, that could help them.</p><p>“I’m so sorry, what can I do ? Can you teleport ? Do you want me to knock him down ?”</p><p>Crowley leaned against a bookshelf and crossed his arms with a grin.</p><p>“Nah, let him be. It’s rude to interrupt.”</p><p> </p><p>“What in <em>Heaven</em> is happening here ?”</p><p>Three heads turned towards the stairs. Aziraphale, a mug in one hand, was frowning at them.</p><p>“It’s exactly what it looks like, angel,” provided Crowley with a large smile. “I’m being exorcised, here.”</p><p>The mug was slammed on the counter, and the angel approached the priest with a thunderous expression.</p><p>“This is highly improper ! Entering an honest establishment and starting exorcise people like that ! I have to ask you to leave immediately !”</p><p>“Come on, it’s fun !” protested Crowley.</p><p>Anathema was the first to see it. The priest’s hand plunging in his cassock’s pocket as he backed down, and reappearing with a little bottle.</p><p>She let out a cry of warning.</p><p>The bottle opened with a pop, and the angel and demon’s eyes looked down. Crowley paled and took a step back.</p><p>There was a rustle, a sudden wave of heat, and Anathema’s vision was brusquely limited to white, shimmering feathers.</p><p>Aziraphale was hovering in front of her and Crowley, wings curled around them protectively, and she heard something dripping on the floor.</p><p><em>Oh</em>. The water had hit his left wing.</p><p>The angel’s face was frozen in a horrified expression, his eyes fixed on Crowley. The witch looked up, and saw that a drop of water had landed on the demon’s sunglasses. A dreadful feeling invaded her as she scanned her demonic friend in search of other traces of liquid. She realised with no small amount of relief that there was none.</p><p>Slowly, the angel reached out and plucked the glasses from his friend’s nose.</p><p>“I’m fine, angel,” assured Crowley in a shaken voice. “Thought he only had that bloody crucifix. My bad.”</p><p>Aziraphale wasn’t listening, still looking at the glasses. He turned back to the priest, who had fallen on his knees in awe, eyes fixed on the pristine feathers.</p><p>“An angel. You are an angel of the Lord !” he exclaimed.</p><p>“Yes,” answered a voice Anathema didn’t know. It seemed to come from all around, it was melodic and beautiful and <em>terrifying</em>. The bookshelves trembled under it.</p><p>“Angel !” yelled Crowley, reaching out to grab Aziraphale’s shoulder. He immediately let go with a cry of pain. “<em>Shit</em> ! Book girl, get down !”</p><p>“What is happening ?” cried the witch.</p><p>“Get down, close your eyes and don’t open them !” answered the demon, urging her to the floor and pushing her towards a corner. The room seemed brighter and brighter, and she saw Aziraphale, his face a terrible mask, extending a hand, palm open, to touch the priest’s forehead. Something seemed to flicker around the angel, and his aura suddenly seemed to <em>transform</em>-</p><p>“Your eyes, stupid !” ordered Crowley, crouching in front of her and crushing her head against his shoulder. The bookshop trembled again around them.</p><p>“My baby !” cried Anathema, trying to pull out. But the demon’s grip was like iron.</p><p>“She’ll be <em>fine</em>. Keep your eyes closed ! Think of good things !”</p><p>“Good things ? Are you kidding me ? What kind of good things ?”</p><p>“I don’t know ! Raindrops and roses ! Newt ! The baby ! Good things !”</p><p>She heard a roar and something that seemed like a choir, and her sixth sense suddenly felt overwhelmed with <em>too much…</em></p><p>Silence fell again, and Crowley let go, taking her by the shoulders to steady her. Ears ringing, she opened her eyes.</p><p>“All right ?” asked the demon, slightly concerned.</p><p>“I… yes, I think. Did you say the truth about the baby ? Is she going to be fine ?”</p><p>He rolled his eyes. “Course she will. Grace can’t hurt innocents. If anything, she will probably sleep nine hours a night and never have colic in her first months.”</p><p>The demon got back on his feet and helped her stand up. She looked behind him, and saw the priest, still on his knees, beaming, wide eyes shining.</p><p>In front of him, Aziraphale seemed a little lost, wavering on his feet and blinking slowly.</p><p>“Stupid angel,” growled Crowley, walking to him and taking him carefully by the shoulders. “You absolute moron,” he chided, leading him to an armchair.</p><p>Aziraphale sat without a murmur, eyes unfocussed, and Crowley crouched in front of him, staring at him attentively.</p><p>“What happened ?” asked Anathema. “Is he going to be all right ?”</p><p>Crowley waved her concern away “Yeah, yeah, don’t fret. He just needs to rest. He’ll be mortified, is all. Could have hurt you.”</p><p>“What happened ?” insisted the witch.</p><p>“He kinda lost his marbles. Got cold berserk. My bad, should have assumed that sucker brought Holy Water.”</p><p>She looked at the priest, who was still staring into nothingness and grinning like a crazy man.</p><p>“What did he do to him ?”</p><p>Crowley looked back and smiled humourlessly.</p><p>“Oh, that ? Ecstasy. Too much love and purity at once for a human mind. He’ll be fine, eventually, once his brain reset. But he won’t be the same. All the hate and fear had been burned inside him.”</p><p>“Isn’t it… a good thing ?”</p><p>Crowley rose his eyebrows. “Do you want all of your dislikes to disappear forever ? Do you want to <em>love</em> every human being you meet, and never get angry ever again? Not being able to lie anymore?”</p><p>“<em>Oh</em>. That is… It <em>looks</em> great, but I’m not sure I like the idea.”</p><p>“Yeah. Saints are boring. Could be worse, though. He could have been into politics. Talk about a career breaker. Ecstasy isn’t that bad a thing for a priest. Kinda cheating, though. Not exactly Free Will friendly. That one is fated for Heaven, mark my words.”</p><p>With a snap of his fingers, Crowley had the priest get on his feet and head out, still smiling.</p><p>Aziraphale took a sudden breath, and his eyes widened like a man waking up from nightmare.</p><p>“Hey, there. Calm down, everything’s fine,” murmured Crowley soothingly.</p><p>The angel’s eyes landed on the young witch, and he gasped.</p><p>“Oh ! Oh, dear Lord ! Anathema, are you alright ?”</p><p>“I feel fine. I would like to know what kind of magic you used, though. Crowley said it could leave permanent damages.”</p><p>“Oh, not if I didn’t touch you with the intent to purify your soul. You <em>did</em> close your eyes, right ?”</p><p>“Yes, I did. Why ? What was I not supposed to see ?”</p><p>Aziraphale ducked his head with a slight blush.</p><p>“My true form may be… a tad blinding.”</p><p>“I could have become <em>blind</em> ?”</p><p>“No, of course not !” assured the angel nervously. “It is just… different from this corporation. More… aggressive to the senses.”</p><p>“Try fucking terrifying,” provided the demon with a chuckle.</p><p>“Yes, well… no need to say that,” mumbled Aziraphale with a pout.</p><p>Crowley directed a grin towards Anathema.</p><p>“The angel is ashamed of his body, book girl.”</p><p>The witch let out a laugh, caught Aziraphale’s eyes, then gaped.</p><p>“Wait. It’s true ? You don’t like your <em>body</em> ?”</p><p>The angel blushed even more.</p><p>“Only… only the ethereal one. I like my corporation just fine.”</p><p>Anathema looked from one immortal being to the other.</p><p>“Why ?” she finally asked, unsure as to how to find a way to cure an angel from a bad body image.</p><p>Aziraphale spluttered, and Crowley looked away with tight lips, miracling a new pair of glasses to hide his eyes. Anathema could have swear his shoulders were shaking.</p><p>The angel seemed to battle against himself, and suddenly yielded in front of the human’s questioning stare.</p><p>“The… the eagle’s head looks <em>mean</em> !” he moaned.</p><p>Crowley burst into laughter.</p>
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